Romance Quote by David Sedaris — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.”

“If you aren't cute, you may as well be clever.”

“Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character.”

“For the first twenty years of my life, I rocked myself to sleep. It was a harmless enough hobby, but eventually, I had to give it up. Throughout the next twenty-two years I lay still and discovered that after a few minutes I could drop off with no problem. Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it’s funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own. Often I never even made it to the bed. I’d squat down to pet the cat and wake up on the floor eight hours later, having lost a perfectly good excuse to change my clothes. I’m now told that this is not called “going to sleep” but rather “passing out,” a phrase that carries a distinct hint of judgment.”

“Hugh consoled me, saying, "Don't let it get to you. There are plenty of things you're good at.”

“When forced to leave my house for an extended period of time, I take my typewriter with me, and together we endure the wretchedness of passing through the X-ray scanner. The laptops roll merrily down the belt, while I’m instructed to stand aside and open my bag. To me it seems like a normal enough thing to be carrying, but the typewriter’s declining popularity arouses suspicion and I wind up eliciting the sort of reaction one might expect when traveling with a cannon.”

“Dear L--”

“Your big scary husband is crying.”

“Was she on some sort of Candid Camera version of This is Your Sucky Love Life?”

“Being amongst rough lives and confusion does not make you less, it only makes your beauty shine out more clearly.”

“Your neck. I want to kiss it.”

“There was a clatter as the basilisk fangs cascaded out of Hermione's arms. Running at Ron, she flung them around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Ron threw away the fangs and broomstick he was holding and responded with such enthusiasm that he lifted Hermione off her feet.”