Best Funny But True Quotes to Inspire, Uplift & Motivate You Every Day

“If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?”

“vers libre," (free verse) or nine-tenths of it, is not a new metre any more than sleeping in a ditch is a new school of architecture.”

“While she could hardly fathom what had just happened to her that night, she reached some conclusions before she fell asleep, certain things now made perfect sense; Moon River didn’t sound so syrupy, mistletoe wasn’t such a bad idea, and perhaps dating was not such a frivolous waste of time after all.”

“i realize you cant just throw real gems at ppl...because they think cubic zirconia is the real thing lol”

“Flattery does not encourage the perfect flow of love in the vein of your relationship. Be genuine and speak out what you feel for each other without hiding the painful truth.”

“Tolerance! The virtue that makes one bite his tongue so that he can tear out his hair.”

“True devotion and humility is when you carelessly allow yourself to fall in love with things you consider will make you look inferior, which in essence, makes you superior.”

“No matter how kind you are, always expect a few imbeciles.”

“With a philosophy education, one can infuriate his peers, intimidate his date, think of obscure, unreliable ways to make money, and never regret a thing.”

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away.' But eating too many, is quite enough-plenty. And you'll have to go see the good doc anyway.”

“Drunken men give some of the best pep talks.”

“Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions.”

“Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.”