Humor Quote by Stephen King — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I realized something as I sat in that chair after he hit me, waitin for my kidneys to stop achin: if I didn't stand up to him then, I probably wouldn't ever stand up to him. So I did.”

“We fall from womb to tomb, from one blackness and toward another, remembering little of the one and knowing nothing of the other ... except through faith.”

“Some part of me knew from the first that what I wanted was not reality but myth.”

“Fault always lies in the same place: with him weak enough to lay blame.”

“A boy who once wiped his ass with poison ivy probably doesn't belong in a smart people's club.”

“The family exists for many reasons, but its most basic function may be to draw together after a member dies.”

“You totally just outed us to the criminals.”

“Vote for the man who promises least; he'll be the least disappointing.”

“Don't bite his face, Eleanor told herself. It's disturbing and needy and never happens in situation comedies or movies that end with big kisses.”

“Things on the essential list: vodka, Nine Inch Nails, a steady supply of mortal men, and an all-purpose bitchy attitude.”

“I hear your insults and plan to silence them with my victory.”

“If I ever meet myself,' said Zaphod, 'I'll hit myself so hard I won't know what's hit me.”