Humor Quote by Lemony Snicket — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“It is very useful, when one is young, to learn the difference between "literally" and "figuratively." If something happens literally, it actually happens; if something happens figuratively, it feels like it is happening.”

“Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.”

“My silence knot is tied up in my hair; as if to keep my love out of my eyes. I cannot speak to one for whom i care. A hatpin serves as part of my disguise.”

“In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied "I love you back" and not "I love your back" before you continue the conversation.”

“Literature doesn’t exactly have a strong mental-health track record.”

“Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation.”

“I don't understand how people can”

“Save your explanations, I got some questions for you first and you'd better answer them!' [slurred Hellian.]”

“To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan and not quite enough time.”

“It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see...”

“The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.”

“The alarm in the morning? Well, I have an old tape of Carlo Maria Giulini conducting the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra in a perfectly transcendent version in Shubert's seventh symphony. And I've rigged it up so that at exactly 7:30 every morning it falls from the ceiling onto my face.”