Humor Quote by Mark Twain — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.”

“We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.”

“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”

“The perfection of wisdom, and the end of true philosophy is to proportion our wants to our possessions, our ambitions to our capacities, we will then be a happy and a virtuous people.”

“I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately.”

“A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes.”

“I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible.”

“Wylan drew himself up. “I may not have had your … education, but I’m sure I know plenty of words that you don’t.”

“He has fought many battles with us" (Jace)”

“Of all the crap, crap, crappy nights I've ever had in the whole of my crap life. On a scale of one to 10, we're talking...a minus 6. And it's not like I even have very high standards.”

“Maybe I should, I don't know leave? Because this is starting to sound like one of those reality shows I don't want to be in. Maybe you guys want to take turns in the confessional booth.”

“You can't save everyone, though God knows you try.”