Humor Quote by P.G. Wodehouse — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.”

“I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.”

“A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.”

“She looked away. Her attitude seemed to suggest that she had finished with him, and would be obliged if somebody would come and sweep him up.”

“She fitted into my biggest arm-chair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were wearing arm-chairs tight about the hips that season”

“The true philosopher is a man who says "All right," and goes to sleep in his armchair.”

“There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.”

“Claire, did I invite you to my barbeque?" Massie asked, her neck tilting to the right and her arms tightly crossed.”

“You can't believe everything people tell you - not even if those people are your own brain.”

“THE WOMAN WAS GOING TO KILL HIM, and not because she was stronger and more vicious than he was. Which, if he thought about it, she was. He’d never ripped a man’s throat out with his teeth, and he was damned impressed that Gwen had. She’d made the Lords of the Underworld look like marshmallows.”

“I didn't know this before, but as it turns out, Tyrannosaurs can really haul ass.”

“Opinions are like onions. They spell similarly, usually have many layers, and tend to make people cry.”