Humor Quote by Susan Elizabeth Phillips — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“[Bobby Tom] finally understood Gracie's function in his life. She was God's joke on him.”

“You never get mad,” she said when their server left the table. “Except at me.”

“Never mind that. What's going on with you and Heath?”

“He shook his head. "The next time I hear a women going on about how neurotic men are, I'm going to remember this. You tell me you like my body, and what do I say? I say, thank you. Then I tell you I like yours and what do I hear? A long lists of grievances.”

“She threw up her hands. "All right. Why not?”

“You couldn't be satisfied with being an amateur asshole, could you, Jimbo! You had to go and turn pro on me!”

“Walking around nude in front of humans was not a good way to keep a low profile with the community. It was an excellent way to make new friends, though.”

“Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now they have to make them look alike too? It's not a new idea, either. I first saw it in old newsreels from the 1930s, but it was hard to understand because the narration was in German.”

“No headboards were broken.”

“The Destiny of Man is to unite, not to divide. If you keep on dividing you end up as a collection of monkeys throwing nuts at each other out of separate trees.”

“Scientists talk about dark matter, the invisible, mysterious substance that occupies the space between stars. Dark matter makes up 99.99 percent of the universe, and they don't know what it is. Well I do. It's apathy. That's the truth of it; pile together everything we know and care about in the universe and it will still be nothing more than a tiny speck in the middle of a vast black ocean of Who Gives a Fuck.”