Humor Quote by Jim Beaver — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Of all the things I've ever done, perhaps none was more difficult than turning away from my beautiful girl and walking away, leaving her there, never to look back. But my friend Tom, my ever-faithful good friend Tom said, pointing down the hall away from Cec's room, 'Life's that way. Let's go home.'”

“The Destiny of Man is to unite, not to divide. If you keep on dividing you end up as a collection of monkeys throwing nuts at each other out of separate trees.”

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”

“Money may not buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”

“I ripped my left arm out of his hand and slammed my elbow into his solar plexus. He exhaled in a gasp. I lunged for the dagger and sat on top of him, my knees pinning his arms, my dagger on his throat.”

“I'm seven hundred years old, Alexander. I know when something isn't going to work. You won't even admit I exist to your parents.”

“Trust me, Wilbur. People are very gullible. They'll believe anything they see in print.”