Humor Quote by Terry Pratchett — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“There was no safety. There was no pride. All there was, was money. Everything became money, and money became everything. Money treated us as if we were things, and we died.”

“This was not the time to say “I don’t know.” The brothers had begging, hungry looks, like dogs waiting to be fed. They wanted an answer. It would be nice if it was the right answer, but if it couldn’t be, then any answer would do, because then we would stop being worried...and then his mind caught alight.”

“This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.”

“DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.”

“All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need...”

“Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.”

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”

“If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part of your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your schoolwork fall by the wayside, a phrase which means 'flunk'.”

“When in doubt, look intelligent.”

“Sigh”

“I'm not going to tell you to trust me, because that's a terrible idea.”

“I'm looking into my past lives. I'm convinced some of them still owe me money.”