“Wilde is an invaluable acquaintance. Often, in situations where I am r...” — Alexandra Petri Quote

“Wilde is an invaluable acquaintance. Often, in situations where I am required to appear witty, I simply steal large chunks from his works and attempt to pass them off as my own with minor modifications.”

“There is something about a mortarboard that gives otherwise sane and normal people the overwhelming urge to burden you with advice. Some of them cannot help themselves. They were asked to do it by a committee. But one can only take so many pieces of wisdom before they all start to blur together.”

“Distrust all those who love you extremely upon a very slight acquaintance and without any visible reason.”

“Augmenting your appearance so drastically that it elicits a reaction from literally every acquaintance you greet is a sea change.”

“No branch of the law is of more importance to the counsellor, the statesman, or the citizen, than a thorough acquaintance with the Constitution and laws of the Federal Government, as they are administered and as they affect the rights of the people.”