“Couples without kids have each other, their friends, families, and Sir...” — Jen Kirkman Quote

“Couples without kids have each other, their friends, families, and Siri to talk to. It's not like they're quarantining themselves in an underground bunker, never to take a romantic stroll on the beach or attend a Morrissey concert ever again. They're just using birth control.”

“I love being on the road, but to make a living as a road comic, you have to be on it most weeks out of the year. That's just too much for me. But I would love to be such a successful road comic that I don't have to go on it every week.”

“I'm very big into just feeling good and doing what I want; I'm not very calculated or thoughtful about my moves.”

“Childfree women are actually great assets to the planet. Our carbon footprint is smaller than a mom's! And we have enough money to write checks to organizations that help kids get vaccinations, vitamins, and educations yet have plenty of free time to advise your daughter that one day she will regret piercing her lip.”

“At first, there was a separation of clubs and sketch comedy. Now there's all kinds of comedy, making us one big happy family.”

“I will get an opportunity to play again. Why? Because this is the NFL and there's always second chances.”

“You get to choose what monsters you want to slay. I'm sorry to say this again, but let's face it - the Force is with you.”

“I have heard nothing from my friends at The Family Guy. Yeah, I heard that they got picked up again and all that good stuff, but I haven't heard anything yet. But, you know, I'm very elusive and hard to contact.”

“I'm proud of the way I've dealt with setbacks. It's hard when you feel down and you think, 'Why is the world doing this to me?' But you have to pick yourself up again. That's what makes you a better athlete.”

“I'd like to be a geneticist to be honest, but there are limits to what I can do now. For my dream to come true I'd have to be 20 years old again, heading off to a blue chip university.”

“I've seen it again and again in my consulting: Most teams are too large to be innovative, despite their leaders' best intentions.”