“A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press age...” — Fred Allen Quote

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.

Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

In college, I won the Irene Ryan; it's kind of like a collegiate Tony, which got my career going. I was honored. I won a fellowship to the Kennedy Center, and that's where I got my agent.

I don't know if I'd want to be a Secret Service agent. In the movies, it's exciting and romantic and all that. Really, most of their job is standing in a hallway for 12 hours making sure somebody doesn't come through a doorway off of a stairwell.

The best advice I got as a writer was also the first advice, which came from the late fantasy author and editor Karl Edward Wagner: Any agent who charges to look at your work is a crook.

My dad's got a brilliant eye for scripts 'cos he's a literary agent. He and my agent read a load of scripts and filter them.