“People always tell me, 'You should do drama. You should do drama.' Eve...” — Tiffany Haddish Quote

People always tell me, 'You should do drama. You should do drama.' Even when I first got an agent, they were like, 'We want to send you out to be dramatic.' And I'm like, 'No. I'm a comedian. I'm funny. I want to do funny stuff.'

I'm not really into politics, but if I had my own country, I would make sure all my people were educated and figuring out what they love to do, and focusing on that.

I always feel like when I work with people, I work with everybody - from the person that's working the camera to the person that's running the water to the person that's putting the clothes on me, the person that's combing my hair, my makeup, the person that's like, 'You gotta sign these papers.' I try to hang out with everybody.

I love Groupon. I just got a pedicure because of Groupon, and it was the best pedicure ever. I'm going to write a review!

My dad heard of a studio on the radio, and it was advertised as a place for kids to meet kids, and it was actually a studio, and that's where I met my manager and agent.

Seeing the B-52s dropped from planes, watching the burning of civilians with Agent Orange, reading about the incarceration of Vietnamese militants in cages only big enough for tigers made me furious.

I'd most prefer to be a free agent and fight up to six times a year, but that is unlikely.

I was looking for someone to represent me and an agent sat me down and said, 'I don't think there's anything to work with here.'

Of course I wanted an agent from the time I was like 5, but my mother was like, 'No, you're going to be normal, you're going to go to school, you're going to get good grades, you're going to play soccer, and if you do well, if you keep your grades up, you can do one community-theater show a year.'