“I'm topical as hell. That's not going to change if I lose weight. Ther...” — Ralphie May Quote

“I'm topical as hell. That's not going to change if I lose weight. There are a lot of comics that do 'fat jokes' better than I do - Louie Anderson, John Pinette, Gabriel Iglesias. These guys are phenomenal.”

“I'm dirty, I'm irreverent - but I'm still a very topical comedian.”

“You talk to - I had a good fortune of getting to spend a lot of time with Uncle Miltie and guys like Buddy Hackett before they passed away.”

“I would have to say the best finish of my career, the top-two finishes is either Shogun and - I'm a give three. Shogun, Madison Square Garden with Corey Anderson, and Saitama Super Arena with Yushin Okami.”

“Anderson is a really lively guy, a really cheerful guy.”

“Pamela Anderson has more prosthetic in her body than I do. Nobody calls her disabled.”