“Weight gain is good because it makes your dresses tight. This is not n...” — Victoria Coren Mitchell Quote

“Weight gain is good because it makes your dresses tight. This is not necessarily classy or flattering, but it means you don't have to iron anything.”

“The idea of MPs texting and emailing through debates makes my gorge rise, as it does when a minicab driver makes phone calls at the wheel. I'm not paying you to keep in touch with your mates!”

“School is supposed to civilise us, to tame our wilder instincts and teach us how to be more sensible, more knowledgeable, and cleverer.”

“Video piracy is among the most irritating aspects of modern life for those who work in the film business. Adverts telling you not to commit video piracy are among the most irritating aspects of modern life for those who don't.”

“Casino games such as roulette, blackjack, baccarat, slot machines and so on, are stacked in favour of the house.”

“You have to show up in the World Cup, and in the World Cup anything can happen.”

“Basically, I'm for anything that gets you through the night - be it prayer, tranquilizers or a bottle of Jack Daniels.”

“When I was a teenager, I was first exposed to a saying: 'Deaf people can do anything except hear.' But that quote has really evolved. And today that's Deaf Gain. We're lucky to be the way we are. It's not a woe-is-me situation.”

“They teach anything in universities today. You can major in mud pies.”

“They are more beautiful than anything in the world, kinetic sculptures, perfect form in motion.”

“I will govern my life and thoughts as if the whole world were to see the one and read the other, for what does it signify to make anything a secret to my neighbor, when to God, who is the searcher of our hearts, all our privacies are open?”