“I am not an actor. Yes, every so often I appear on talk shows to promo...” — Alan Zweibel Quote

I am not an actor. Yes, every so often I appear on talk shows to promote something I've written, and I enjoy doing so because I have a lot of stories to tell, and I like making audiences laugh. But that's not acting. That's just me being me.

Whether it's an innate ability or an acquired way of regarding the world around us, being labeled as funny can only be accepted as a compliment.

I haven't written a brochure yet. It's killing me. I know I have a brochure or pamphlet in me yet.

I write. This is what I do. My job is to sit down with my vocabulary, select words, and decide what order they should be placed in an attempt to keep someone's attention and perhaps provide them with a laugh or two along the way.

It would be pretty shabby to appear flippant around a documentary that's about how much I love my fans.

I like to write about real people, real crimes. But what has increasingly come to interest me, and also appear to me as a challenge, is the idea of doing strange things with what is real. Take what is real and make it more or less real.

Few people outside the Telegram fan community realize that most of the new features in messaging appear on Telegram first, and are then carbon-copied by WhatsApp down to the tiniest details.

On 'America's Next Top Model,' I mentor girls on television. When that TV goes off, I actually mentor other girls in the modeling industry - girls that have not been on 'Top Model,' but who appear in 'Vogue' worldwide.