“I wasn't a good-looking child. I got screwed out of the genetic deal. ...” — Nikki Glaser Quote

I wasn't a good-looking child. I got screwed out of the genetic deal. My sister looks like a model. I think that's why I'm a comic. I'm deeply insecure, since I was always feeling ugly. I wasn't a healthy child. I had poor self-esteem. That's why I need people's approval.

If anyone's going to bring about mass extinction, it'll be Donald Trump.

Why am I sharing this part of my life when it opens me up to judgment? But part of me wants to share that part of my life because I think non-monogamy is a normal thing for human beings to want.

I don't know what that is because to me, Feb. 14 is Rob Thomas' birthday, and that's only what I acknowledge it as. I just like to celebrate that as Rob Thomas' birthday.

What I enjoy most about directing is the chance of working things out with the writer, plus I need their approval and I like the chat.

Who of us has not had that situation where you've got to wait for approval, and the doctor says, 'Well, I don't know if your insurance company is going to cover this?' Let's eliminate all of that.

Knowing and being secure in yourself keeps you from being held hostage by the approval of others.

He gains everyone's approval who mixes the pleasant with the useful.

Obama hasn't lost his standing because of tricks played by the Republicans. He hasn't lost his standing because the media's not fair to him. He hasn't lost his standing or his approval number because the media spent four years attacking him like they did George W. Bush. This is all on him.