“The most successful Subway customers, of course, are the ones who can'...” — Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote

“The most successful Subway customers, of course, are the ones who can't keep their hands off their sandwich. Join your artist in the sandwich assembling process. That sneeze guard is a suggestion. That sneeze guard is trying to intimidate you into staying on the customer's side of the partition.”

“I attended an evangelical Christian university on the outskirts of suburban Los Angeles and by the time of my graduation was neither evangelical nor Christian.”

“I'm not a model, I'm an artist. In one of my videos, I'm doing this shot of me with no make-up on where I've just woken up, and I don't think a lot of people would be comfortable enough to do that. But that's the way I look. This is who I am. Let's enjoy it. Let's just live life to the full while we're all here.”

“I think an artist has always to be out of step with his time.”

“Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter.”