“Actually, my wine was served at the White House twice. Reagan must hav...” — Pat Paulsen Quote

Actually, my wine was served at the White House twice. Reagan must have been asleep when he ordered it.

In America, any boy can grow up to become president. Or, if he never grows up, vice president.

Now that my wine has been served in the White House, why not me? Who could talk to farmers better than I? Somebody even asked me the other day if I had anything in my platform about taxes. 'Hell yes,' I said. 'Great state. But I wouldn't want to live there.'

People come up to me in bars and on street corners and they say to me, 'Hey, Paulsen, have you got any change?'

Only a cheap politician, greedy for political gain, would try to single out one individual for blame. The fault lies not with the individual but with the system, and that system is Richard Nixon.

I wasn't playing mind games with anybody, I just said what I said. I am responsible for it, but I wish everybody would fall asleep for that one and let me go out there and do my thing.

When I was falling asleep I would practice my Grammys speech when I was a little kid.

I get work done in half the time if the family is still asleep. When my family wakes up, I've already had a productive morning and am ready to enjoy breakfast with them before I start conquering the rest of my day.

Insomniacs will be familiar with that disastrous moment as you lie there in the dark, with your eyes shut, when you think, 'What does my brain actually have to do to make me become asleep? What is the difference between that state and this? Why is the weird, invisible change not happening tonight?'