“It's a big thing now: A lot of people want to be assistants to celebri...” — Lewis Black Quote

“It's a big thing now: A lot of people want to be assistants to celebrities. If you're pursuing that, you're an idiot. You're a moron. The shortest distance between two points is not a celebrity, or being next to a celebrity.”

“I'm amazed that anyone is interested in what I have to say.”

“Online, there's no time. It's always Christmas.”

“It's something I work on every once in a while. I'll skate around the neutral zone and have one of our assistants fire pucks into my skates and I'll figure out a way to handle them. I think it's a good skill to have, and something you don't think about that you should work on.”

“When I wrote 'The Assistants,' I knew very much that I wanted to write about income inequality and student loan debt and the gender wage gap, but I wanted to put it in a really slick, fun package. That book ended up being described as a socially conscious novel in chick-lit clothing.”