“You have to assume that you're talking to the most intelligent, tuned-...” — Dylan Moran Quote

“You have to assume that you're talking to the most intelligent, tuned-in audience you could ever get. That's the way you're going to get the best out of people. Whether they know you or not shouldn't matter for comedy. They should get to know you pretty quickly. and they should be having a good time pretty quickly.”

“Some people have told me that I'm grumpy; it's not something that I'm aware of. It's not like I walk around poking children in the eye... not very small ones, anyway.”

“I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate.”

“I don't like to get scared - it's not one of the emotions I enjoy. So I have to assume that if there are scary things in my books, they aren't very scary.”

“I have long been fascinated by our inclination to assume others we meet have the same moral code, similar values, and yet we can never be sure.”

“I just always assume no one is listening.”