“I'm glad Carol Vorderman has left 'Countdown;' I mean, it's not like s...” — Michael McIntyre Quote

“I'm glad Carol Vorderman has left 'Countdown;' I mean, it's not like she did much. She was effectively just an autistic shelf-stacker.”

“I don't go around straightening pictures or anything like that, but I do obsess about the safety of those I love, particularly the kids.”

“Before I went into comedy I was a loner, very much wrapped up in my own thoughts. But I always liked myself and the way I thought.”

“It's much more work for the mother of an autistic child to have a job, because working with an autistic child is such a hassle until they go to school.”

“Some autistic children cannot stand the sound of certain voices. I have come across cases where teachers tell me that certain children have problems with their voice or another person's voice. This problem tends to be related to high-pitched ladies' voices.”

“It's very important for the parents of young autistic children to encourage them to talk, or for those that don't talk, to give them a way of communicating, like a picture board, where they can point to a glass of milk, or a jacket if they're cold, or the bathroom. If they want something, then they need to learn to request that thing.”