“I can write, He floated up to the ceiling, and a baby rabbit came out ...” — Humphrey Carpenter Quote

“I can write, He floated up to the ceiling, and a baby rabbit came out of his pocket, grew wings, and flew away. And you will believe that it really happened. That's magic, isn't it?”

“Autobiography is probably the most respectable form of lying.”

“The nice thing about being a writer is that you can make magic happen without learning tricks.”

“Your baby only needs a lot of light at night if he's reading or he's entertaining guests.”

“Some of these Ivy League kids want to have it both ways. They want to be baby members of the 1 percent, which they most certainly are, and yet still portray themselves as the oppressed.”

“If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.”