“Every novice is like, Can I have the rock shrimp? Then I'm always like...” — Jonathan Cheban Quote

Every novice is like, Can I have the rock shrimp? Then I'm always like, Don't order rock shrimp with me. It's such a bad look on the table. It cheapens me. I'm embarrassed about it.

Kanye is the best. I'm obsessed with him to the nine. There's nobody smarter, cooler. I sit for hours talking to him sometimes. There's nobody more amazing, brilliant, innovative. He talks to me and I leave him and I'm like How am I going to talk to regular people now?

Kim and I have been friends for a long time. I've seen how things have played out behind the scenes. She's come a long way and she's a strong woman. The fact that she goes to Australia and twenty thousand people show up to a mall to see her is incredible. She's become an around the world phenomenon.

I'm very scheduled; like every hour, I've got to do this, I've got to eat here. The facial's at this time, the trainer's at this time, the electro-muscle therapy's at this time... it's like every day is a whole thing.

In bad times, the rich usually get richer.

Four legs good, two legs bad.

Every bad situation is a blues song waiting to happen.

When it's a bad movie you want to release it quietly. You try to keep it a secret like an STD.

I have always disliked it when politicians start pandering to veterans and telling us how bad we have it and that if we just vote for them that they will fix all of our problems.