“When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it serve...” — J. P. Donleavy Quote

“When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin.”

“Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.”

“I got disappointed in human nature as well and gave it up because I found it too much like my own.”

“Used to be bats had thick handles and a big barrel. Then they found it's not the size of the bat that gets home runs - it's the speed with which you can swing it.”

“How do you deliver democracy to a country? You don't do it down the barrel of a gun. That's not how you deliver it.”

“There are only two types of people in the world. There are the people who understand that this is a matrix, and then there are the people who buy it lock, stock and barrel.”