“I like to read in the dark. I like to go into the bathtub, turn out al...” — Penn Jillette Quote

I like to read in the dark. I like to go into the bathtub, turn out all the lights, and in the dark, read my books.

There is no god, and that's the simple truth. If every trace of any single religion were wiped out and nothing were passed on, it would never be created exactly that way again. There might be some other nonsense in its place, but not that exact nonsense. If all of science were wiped out, it would still be true and someone would find a way to figure it all out again.

I will forever stick up for Catholics and Christians in general. With a small number of very horrible exceptions, they do play by the rules.

A two-party system is way too good for those two parties.

Being in a floodplain is like sitting down in a bathtub.

I'm from a family of teachers. My father would drown me in the bathtub if my daughter didn't graduate from college. I don't care who she is or what she does. Just get the diploma.

That would really be my fantasy - maybe just do three shows a year and each year in a different city, just singing for the people who really want to see it, and then just write for other people. I do love to sing, but I'm just as happy singing in the bathtub, you know?

I just remember Stella Tenant and me dancing in Donatella Versace's bathtub until like four in the morning. It was one of those 'pinch me' moments.