“Sometimes people say, 'Oh, you're doing better now than before the acc...” — Mike Schultz Quote

“Sometimes people say, 'Oh, you're doing better now than before the accident.'That irritates the hell out of me.”

“I'm very fortunate that I get to make people smile by creating.”

“The crazy part, with all of the surgeries I had, I retained water from the IV fluids, and I gained 60 pounds. I was 247 pounds at my maximum. I couldn't even touch my face because my joints were swollen. I was so big, it was ridiculous - just insane.”

“For instance, it's a little better now than it was two or three years ago, but something like 70% of the poems I receive seem to be written in the present indicative.”

“Golf was my first glimpse of comedy. I was a caddy when I was a kid. I was on the golf course rather than being in lessons, but I can play better now than I could then.”

“I know how to wrap my turban a little better now. In the beginning, it was a little weird.”