“I've seen shows where comedians cracked about someone not clapping, th...” — Nate Bargatze Quote

“I've seen shows where comedians cracked about someone not clapping, then realized they've only got one hand, or joked about someone wearing sunglasses inside, then realized they're blind. I never want to put myself in that situation. I never want to be mean.”

“I talk about the fights my wife and I have, and not only is it something people can connect with, what I talk about comes from a place of love.”

“It's a big belief to be 'I am second.' Being second to God, second to your family, second to - I believe - the audience, second to everybody.”

“The way I miss my daughter Esme is to worry about her. It is not a pleasurable longing. It contorts my body and scrambles my brain, makes me stop breathing, clench my jaw and my fists, it makes me frown, and makes me blind and deaf, in fact entirely without sensory perception.”

“Who can blind lover's eyes?”

“You know, I'm not sure I ever even had a blind date!”