“I'm like the guy who prepares your taxes or a dentist. I'm very conser...” — Augusten Burroughs Quote

“I'm like the guy who prepares your taxes or a dentist. I'm very conservative and boring in a lot of ways.”

“I'm always prepared for the worst. I was prepared to have the book come out, sell seven copies, and have to keep working in advertising, so it was just great that it was received so well and by such a huge audience.”

“But I can also write in crappy motel rooms, while standing in line, or sitting in the dentist's chair.”

“I don't like cream puff, corny guys. Usually, they are the nice guys, the ones that won't hurt you. They'll pull out the chair for you and the whole nine yards. Everything is perfect and boring.”

“My story is so boring: Long Island Jewish parents take their daughters to Broadway.”

“People learn. If you market somebody, let's say GSP, a lot of people were saying he was doing boring fights because he was taking the guys down and controlling them, but he was winning, and he was the guy who selling the most.”