“If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip o...” — Jeff Foxworthy Quote

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip.

You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.

I love comedy. God has given me this platform.

It's cool and all four out of five NFC championships, making two Super Bowls, that's all cool, fine, and dandy, but it's not cool when you're not the team at the end of the year holding the Lombardi.

I have two bowls of confidence for breakfast each morning.

I can't think of anything in my profession that would mean as much. You can talk about Emmys or Super Bowls. Fifty Masters Tournaments, that would be the ultimate.

Even through all those Pro Bowls, at the end of the day, I was always just a seventh-round pick.

I'd eat bowls of soft-serve ice cream until I felt sick.