“Everything isn't breaking news. You can't go to DEFCON One just becaus...” — Hasan Minhaj Quote

Everything isn't breaking news. You can't go to DEFCON One just because Sanjay Gupta found a new moisturizer.

Being healthy is the crown that only the sick can see. A lot of times, we take it for granted.

I feel like every conversation with my father is like an M. Night Shyamalan movie; 90 minutes of build-up to no payoff.

'CNN Tonight' should just be called 'Wait a second! Now hold on! Stop yelling at each!' with Don Lemon.

Funny and sad are two sides of the same coin. I think that most comedians are able to tap into deep subject matter.

Coming out of Juilliard, I honestly was expecting and willing to be breaking my neck, hustling, and being unemployed for a decade, two decades. I was gritting my teeth, but I was so down to do that.

I get random meetings, like, 'Ron Howard would like to sit down with you.' 'Really?' If 'Breaking Bad' hadn't happened, Ron Howard probably wouldn't want to sit down with me. Because he would have no idea who I was.

I'm getting nervous to be called a centrist. Breaking out in a rash.

I had a great time making the last movie, 'Eclipse.' We shot my back-story stuff from the 1930's. But I was waiting for 'Breaking Dawn' because I love the relationship Rosalie has with Jacob and the rest of her family and Bella. She also provides comic relief.