“Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was i...” — Tim Vine Quote

“Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet.”

“If you do weave one-liners into a story, you have to have an overall story as well, otherwise it doesn't really count as narrative.”

“With silly stuff, it's seventy-five percent confidence. I always tell people that it's because I'm nervous about getting that next laugh and I need to hear it. I always want to condense a joke.”

“So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.”

“Comedy covers such a wide range of different styles that I'm not really qualified to talk on all of them any more than anyone else is.”

“Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds.”

“If you have a certain wildness of spirit, a cabinet maker's workshop is not the place to express it.”

“The Trump administration has struggled with ethics vetting for Cabinet nominees and faced criticism for the president's decision to remain invested in his business empire.”

“I've got cabinet experience, military experience, and private sector experience.”

“Ron Paul is not going to be president, so we don't have to worry about who's going to be in his cabinet.”

“The E-government cabinet, E-health services, online voting, online pre-filled tax returns, e-mobile parking, are all examples of Estonian innovation, but far more importantly, they are examples of the transformative power of intensive and extensive use of Information Technology in the public sector.”

“I believe you need to have a serious and credible shadow cabinet with people who are prepared to take on the very difficult issues we face as a party, as well as inspiring our supporters with a clear vision for the future.”