“You look at my audience, and it proves what Congress thinks America is...” — Lewis Black Quote

“You look at my audience, and it proves what Congress thinks America is, is wrong. I get people across the political spectrum. Parents and kids come and they're all punked out, and there are these other guys in John Deere caps.”

“Anybody who likes writing a book is an idiot. Because it's impossible; it's like having a homework assignment every stinking day until it's done. And by the time you get it in, it's done and you're sitting there reading it, and you realize the 12,000 things you didn't do. I mean, writing isn't fun. It's never been fun.”

“But, if you read science journals or the inside of Snapple caps, you might already know that watching TV is the closest you can get to being dead, which is why it's so relaxing.”

“As a player, I was a pantomime villain and I had my limitations. But I was also good enough to captain four Premier League clubs, win 39 caps for my country and be transferred for fees running into millions of pounds.”

“No electricity, no hot water, no heat - at times, we struggled. We'd wake up in the morning and wash with water we heated on a hot plate. And we'd go to bed at night wearing skull caps, sweat shirts, and gloves.”