“This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state...” — George Carlin Quote

“This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen.”

“Meow” means “woof” in cat.”

“When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?”

“I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.”

“So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.”

“'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?”

“The doctrine of the material efficacy of prayer reduces the Creator to a cosmic bellhop of a not very bright or reliable kind.”

“Immorality is the word we use to describe people that are not sinning the same way we are.”

“Religion is flawed, but only because man is flawed.”

“Every theistic religion, including Catholicism, Mainline Protestantism, Judaism, Mormonism, and Islam, has traditionally held homosexual congress in moral opprobrium.”

“Algo sí he aprendido, Qué, Que nuestro dios, el creador del cielo y de la tierra, está rematadamente loco, Cómo te atreves a decir que el señor dios está loco, Porque sólo un loco sin conciencia de sus actos admitiría ser el culpable directo de la muerte de cientos de miles de personas y se comportaría luego como si nada hubiese sucedido, salvo que, y pudiera ser, no se tratara de locura, la involuntaria, la auténtica, sino de pura y simple maldad, Dios nunca podría ser malo, o no sería dios, para malo ya tenemos al demonio, No puede ser bueno un dios que da a un padre la orden de que mate y queme en una hoguera a su propio hijo simplemente para poner a prueba su fe, eso no se le ocurriría ni al más maligno de los demonios.”