“I was so nervous on the night of my honeymoon, I put my pants to bed, ...” — Bobby Heenan Quote

“I was so nervous on the night of my honeymoon, I put my pants to bed, and I hung over a chair.”

“Are there any swamps in Oklahoma? Yes, there is. It's called Tulsa.”

“North Dakota State. What do you have to do there to graduate? Milk a cow with your left hand?”

“Being in the beauty industry has taught me that most of us are never satisfied with how we look. We all wish we had better hair, could lose that last 10 pounds, or look like someone else. I always see the beauty in the clients that have sat in my chair, and I've tried to help them see it, too, and feel good about themselves.”

“Everything I have ever written has been in the same chair, in the same room.”

“The first thing I said if I sat on the Iron Throne would probably be, 'Ouch!' It's actually painful because it's made of swords. But my first Royal Edict would be, 'Somebody get rid of this damn chair!'”