“We have to get women's stories out there so a guy will read it, laugh,...” — Jen Kirkman Quote

“We have to get women's stories out there so a guy will read it, laugh, and think, 'I'm not laughing at a chick story but a story.'”

“Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.”

“The urge that most people feel to have kids is the exact same as the urge that I have to not have kids. I do not want to raise a child.”

“I'm wildly different than Maria Bamford or Sarah Silverman, and might be more similar to some male comics.”

“I'm not a big fan of young people.”

“If I write a joke, sometimes people will call it a 'lie,' and I'm fascinated with that.”

“So many times, you get sent scripts where it's, like, the token chick, where the woman is just there to serve the man in the film.”

“I do think I have a rebellious, metal-loving rock chick inside of me.”

“Every chick I try to intimidate in a different way. You have to think about their personality. You have to think about what would get under that particular person's skin the most.”

“Nobody wants to pay to see a real chick fight because it's ugly and it doesn't sell.”

“I don't read 'chick lit,' fantasy or science fiction but I'll give any book a chance if it's lying there and I've got half an hour to kill.”

“I'm sorry, but chick fights are sexy. If you don't think so, you're either an uptight woman or a lying man.”