“Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.” — W. C. Fields Quote

“Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.”

“Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.”

“Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.”

“The women's movement was always going to work in two parts. With one part, we'd break open the doors that were closed to women, and with the other part, we'd walk through, transforming society for men and women. Turns out it was a lot easier to open the doors.”

“I grew up in Mill Hill. All potteries, mining. Then once Maggie Thatcher closed the pits down, it became a bit depressed.”

“I feel like 90% of the gags in the Muppets are to do with their mouths being not quite closed. Just permanent gormlessness.”