“If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it.” — Jonathan Winters Quote

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it.

My paintings and comedy have a lot in common. They are both improvisations based on observation.

Well, the most terrible fear that anybody should have is not war, is not a disease, not cancer or heart problems or food poisoning - it's a man or a woman without a sense of humor.

I started out as an artist, and what I do is verbal paintings. I paint a picture. Hopefully, you'll see the characters and what they're doing and what they're saying.

I have never pretended to be any kind of super-religious kind of man, but I feel very strongly that you can be funny without being dirty.

Democracy is like a streetcar. When you come to your stop, you get off.

When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

Now, you lose something in your life, or you come into a conflict, and there's gonna come a time that you're gonna know: There was a reason for that. And at the end of your life, all the things you thought were periods, they turn out to be commas. There was never a full stop in any of it.

I have come to the conclusion that the most important element in human life is faith.

You need to have that killer instinct. It can't be taught. Where does it come from? A couple slaps. A couple things you had denied to you.