“I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up th...” — Don Rickles Quote

“I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.”

“One thing a comedian does, when you step on the stage, you're selling yourself, and certainly I don't think the whole world can love you. But if you can get the majority on your side, you're really in business.”

“The average person pushes an elevator button 6 or 7 minutes before realizing it's not working. I did a study on this, you know.”

“I love being at home! We travel a lot so I really enjoy being at home, having a lazy day on the couch, watch a couple of movies, meet friends, cook dinner, go to the cinema, play tennis.”

“I was the idiot on the couch, 'I could beat some of these guys!' I would say that about Tim Sylvia. But I was like, 'Freakin' Arlovski, he looks like an athlete.' He looked rock solid.”

“I'm OK with being the Old Spice Guy because before I was the Old Spice Guy I was the guy looking for work on his couch.”