“Salad cream is horrible, like albino ketchup.” — Sean Lock Quote

“Salad cream is horrible, like albino ketchup.”

“Touring can be quite a dull life.”

“There is this fallacy of the 'cool' comedian out there. You see the guys who take themselves very seriously and think they're being very suave and sardonic. But they're just jesters like the rest of us; they're just goons like we all are. The job is to make people laugh.”

“I remember being an usherette at my local theater very, very early on, selling ice cream and programs - because they're not free in the U.K. - during pantomime season, which was super interesting. It meant a lot of kids, a lot of sweets, a lot of sugar-induced kids.”

“That was the best ice cream soda I ever tasted.”

“I'm trying to write books that taste like ice cream but have the nutrition of vegetables.”