“I cannot be Mary Hart - or even worse, Samantha Harris - and stand the...” — Chelsea Handler Quote

“I cannot be Mary Hart - or even worse, Samantha Harris - and stand there with my hip out talking about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes taking Suri to an art museum without making fun of it.”

“You look at, like, a 'People' magazine, which used to be a really good, you know, nice magazine you could go to for real stories. It wasn't like a 'Star' or an 'US Weekly' and they have somebody with plastic surgery on the cover, Heidi Montag. And it's obviously what consumers want, because why else would they be doing it?”

“When you're driving Tom Cruise around, and he's literally a race car driver, and you're supposed to be driving like you really know what you're doing... It's quite intimidating.”

“When you do a Tom Cruise movie, you don't do a Tom Cruise movie and ask a lot of questions.”

“Artists, whether they're Tom Cruise or John Waters or Ron Howard or Oliver Stone, you can empower them to become a better version of themselves, but you cannot change them 180 degrees to be someone they are not.”