“Women like me. Women love me. But not so my wife need worry. Not in a ...” — Michael McIntyre Quote

“Women like me. Women love me. But not so my wife need worry. Not in a 'he's so hot' type of way. More in a 'come round for a cup of tea' way.”

“I got my big break at the Royal Variety Performance in 2006 and returned in 2008, but now to host it is such an honour and I'm unbelievably excited.”

“I don't eat huge amounts, I'm just very lazy. But then this story appeared about me being on a diet and several weeks later I was snapped on holiday with my ''new physique'' on display, which was basically my old physique under a baggy T-shirt. I hadn't been on any diet. But I felt I had to live up to it.”

“I'll be out having a good time and stick my gum on the side of my cup - I know, it's a horrible habit - and people will steal the cup.”

“The best vacation would be just hanging around and partying with the Cup.”

“When you go to a World Cup, you must be ready to play at any time.”