I couldn't tell a story if my life depended on it. I'm the world's worst joke-teller.
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“I couldn't tell a story if my life depended on it. I'm the world's worst joke-teller.”
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MotivationalLife LessonsAgeSuccessLoveFriendshipWisdomBrainyBusinessCarChanceChristmasCommunicationComputersCoolDadDatingDesignDietEasterEducationEnvironmentalEqualityExperienceFaithFather's DayFinanceFitnessFoodFunnyFutureGardeningGovernmentGraduationGreatHistoryHomeImaginationIndependenceInspirationalIntelligenceJealousyLife QuotesMarriageMedicalMemorial DayMenMomMoneyMorningMother's DayMoviesMoving OnMusicNew Year'sParentingPatriotismPetPoliticsPositivePowerRelationshipRelationshipsReligionScienceSmileSocietySpaceSportsSympathyTeacherTechnologyTeenThankfulThanksgivingValentine's DayTravelVeterans DayWarWeddingWomenWorkInspirationLove QuotesGodRomanceDeathPoetryArchitectureDreamsLeadershipBirthdayOtherActionAdversityAttitudeBeautyBeliefChangeCharacterCompassionConfidenceCourageCreativityCuriosityDisciplineExcellenceFailureFamilyFearFocusForgivenessFreedomArtGoalsGratitudeGrowthHappinessHard WorkHealingHealthHopeHumilityHumorJourneyKindnessKnowledgeLetting GoLifeBestMindfulnessMindsetNatureOpportunityOvercomingPatiencePeacePerseverancePhilosophyPotentialProgressPurposeSelf ImprovementSimplicitySpiritualityStrengthTimeTrustTruthWealthGood
✦ About the Author
✦ More by David Shields
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I couldn't tell a story if my life depended on it. I'm the world's worst joke-teller.
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People like Ian McEwan and Jonathan Franzen completely bore me.
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Our culture is obsessed with real events because we experience hardly any.
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I like having a paperback original. And until literature catches up with the culture - the violence, language, syntax, compression, concision, complexity and diversity that the Internet offers - books still make sense.
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I began as a fiction writer - I had written three novels in my 20s and 30s. But as my work has gravitated towards literary nonfiction, or lyric essay or poetic essay, whatever you want to call it, I'm constantly beating my head against the wall 'cause I'm teaching a genre that's no longer that exciting to me and that I'm no longer practicing.
✦ More Depended Quotes
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I wouldn't know how to be on Facebook if my life depended on it.
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I just knew how to do the one thing I did, and whether I did it well or not depended on who the director was.
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I don't think Ed Horman could be dishonest if his life depended on it.
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For me, my training is a key part of my work as so often my life has depended on being able to move fast and haul myself up and out of something fast!
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I'm proud of my lineage but never really depended on it anyway whatsoever.