“Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.” — Phyllis Diller Quote

“Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.”

“I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?”

“His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.”

“Your best teacher is your last mistake.”

“It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.”

“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.”