“I have a hoarding problem because my mom is from a third-world country...” — Ali Wong Quote

“I have a hoarding problem because my mom is from a third-world country. And she taught me that you can never throw away anything because you never know when a dictator is going to overtake the country and snatch all of your wealth.”

“I think most feminists are very smart.”

“It's unfair to the hard-core stay-at-home moms to pretend you're able to have an amazing body by chasing around your kids.”

“Whenever I feel mom-guilt, or I feel pressure to be a better mom - to cook salmon on a bed of quinoa for my kids - I just think to myself, 'I... have... suffered... enough.' And then I feel fine about feeding my toddler a bag of chips for dinner.”

“My goal is really to just make people laugh with integrity, like, with something that I still find funny.”

“Breast-feeding was so stressful for me. I kept on clenching and pushing my tongue against the bottom teeth, so they started to move toward an underbite.”

“There's nothing to fear. I'm not a dictator.”

“If I were dictator, I'd have a catch-all crime of disrespect.”

“I read all types of books. I read Christian books, I read black novels, I read religious books. I read stuff like 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad' and 'The Dictator's Handbook' and then I turned around and read science-fiction novels.”

“Obama is telling the insurance companies, as a dictator would, what they can and can't do or what they must or must not do.”

“Getting rid of the dictator is only a first step in establishing a free society. The dictatorship must also be disassembled.”

“When it comes to music, I am a dictator. Making a Dirty Projectors record come to life is like making a movie; I'm the one that makes the picture, and then we all figure out how to realise it.”