“I come from Toledo, Ohio, a town that has been hurt badly by the shift...” — P. J. O'Rourke Quote

“I come from Toledo, Ohio, a town that has been hurt badly by the shift of the automobile business towards Japan. And yet I remember how the car workers lived in the neighborhood that I grew up in. My father was a car salesman, and I remember how we lived. I remember how modestly we lived.”

“Fortunately, I'm married to someone who's a pretty excellent parent!”

“Cars let us out of the barn and, while they were at it, destroyed the American nuclear family. As anyone who has had an American nuclear family can tell you, this was a relief to all concerned.”

“Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.”

“In this business, technology is life or death.”

“My show 'The Big House' was picked up; they flew me to New York. I'm about to step on stage to announce Kevin Hart's 'The Big House.' And a hand grabs my shoulder, 'Kevin no, they just decided to cancel it.' It's a serious smack-in-the-face business, and either you can take it, or you can't.”