“I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks li...” — Steven Wright Quote

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.

Childhood was very nice. The only thing wrong was that I was so introverted, everything became a big deal... 'Oh, no, here comes the bus. Where am I gonna sit on the bus?'

My mother is from another time - the funniest person to her is Lucille Ball; that's what she loves. A lot of times she tells me she doesn't know what I'm talking about. I know if I wasn't her son and she was flipping through the TV and saw me, she would just keep going.

Hermits have no peer pressure.

The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.

A car is like a mother-in-law - if you let it, it will rule your life.

Were the United States to pass a law requiring all cars to be methanol-capable flex-fuel vehicles, or simply repeal EPA regulations that prevent such conversions from being carried out privately, our immense natural-gas capacity could make a dramatic entrance into the liquid-fuel market.

My grandfather's name is Victor but I've always called him Poppy George - I have no idea why! He loved racing Renault rally cars and passed that passion on to my father, Richard.

Years ago I met Richard Burton in Port Talbot, my home town, and afterwards he passed in his car with his wife, and I thought, 'I want to get out and become like him'. Not because of Wales, because I love Wales, but because I was so limited as a child at school and so bereft and lonely, and I thought becoming an actor would do that.