“I came out of the mall one day, and a guy was standing there with a co...” — Bill Engvall Quote

“I came out of the mall one day, and a guy was standing there with a coat hanger in his window, and I couldn't stop myself. I asked the stupid question. 'You lock your keys in the car?' 'Nope, just washed it, gonna hang it up to dry.'”

“If you watch the 'Blue Collar Tour,' I was probably the least redneck of everybody.”

“Now people live into their 90s and beyond. As long as I have quality of life, I'm good.”

“I don't think I'm a good ol' boy. Honestly, the last thing I am is a redneck. I like silk sheets, fancy cars, beautiful women, good whiskey.”

“Basically, the last 30 minutes of 'Goodfellas,' that was my neighborhood... literally. There were people on my street who did nothing but just wash their car all day and wait for a package, and that's what I thought being an adult was.”

“Even one heatstroke death is one too many because every death caused by leaving a child unattended in a hot car is 100 percent avoidable.”