“Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?” — Billy Connolly Quote

Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?

Marriage is a wonderful invention; but then again so is a bicycle repair kit.

I loathe hecklers. I haven't got a good syllable to say. When you come out of the club circuit and into the concert hall, they should be gone. There's an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it's a different venue.

I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered.

Drink today, and drown all sorrow; you shall perhaps not do tomorrow.

I'm a little thirsty, can I go drink out of your toilet?

I would love to have a drink with Meryl Streep or Prince. Those are my top two people I would love to talk to.

In Hollywood everything is so documented. If you go for a drink with somebody, it's passed around the world so quickly.

Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman came to see our show, We all had a drink before they set off on their travels, and we kept in touch.