“I'm a dummy from New Jersey.” — Chris Gethard Quote

I'm a dummy from New Jersey.

Cops are everywhere in New York City. Cars drive by every few minutes. Uniforms stand nonchalantly at street corners.

I had bedbugs in 2005. I felt like a leper. Worse than a leper. At least lepers had a colony they could go and live in with other people who empathized. I instead had friends stand up from tables and walk out of restaurants when I told them I had bedbugs, because they were afraid I'd transfer the bugs to them.

To a crowd that loves improv, Robin Williams is like Chuck Berry.

Both creatively and organizationally, being medicated has helped me immensely.

I think maybe one reason why ventriloquists are looked down on is because it's very difficult to be funny. I think what happens is that people get a dummy, they learn the technique of ventriloquism, they memorize the script, they think they're in show business.

My mother's no dummy. She taught the lesson about sacrificing for your kids, but also that if your kids hit it big, they better make it up to you for those years. She's gotten her sacrifices back with interest.

I saw the Nutcracker to be a dummy as I thought of its mouth moving like a nutcracker - and also find them pretty scary as they almost have a life of their own.

Up until college age I was using the typical little-boy dummy that sits on the knee and makes woodpecker jokes. My first original character didn't happen until later, and that was Jose the Jalapeno on a Stick.